"We'd rather just keep dreaming"

When you are a kid, people ask you what you want to be when you grow up. Usually the answer is "I wanna be an astronaut" or "I wanna be a chef" or something like that. And people look at you with a smile, because it's cute, you are 4, maybe 5 or 6, and you have big dreams.

Then you grow up and you turn 11, 12 and then 13. People ask you again the same question. Your answer has changed. Now, it's more likely to be something like "I'd love to be a teacher". This time they don't smile at you, they just stay silent, maybe nod.

Now I'm 17. And again, people ask me what I wanna be, what is my dream. I'm not gonna say I have lived a long life, but I know more than when I was 5. I have understand what you have to study to be able to achieve your dream work, and I know what I love and what I don't.
I ask truthfully. "I wanna be a radio producer".
When I answer, people usually laugh at me, or just question me "why?" with a disgusted face, like it's not a real job.

I have heard every type of response from people. "Why something like that. You could do lot more, you could be a mathematician, your talents would be wasted.". Or "It doesn't happen in a second. You won't immediately be a producer. It takes time and you are gonna spend most of your life bringing coffees to people and being under payed". And let's never forget the amazing "You know, nowadays it's impossible to find a job, so lower your standards and stop dreaming.".

The thing is, when you are 4, 5 or 6 and you have no idea what being an astronaut means and you say that just because it seems cool to you and you like the stars in the night sky, people tell you to keep dreaming and to study hard to make your dream come true. But when you are 17 and you have to decide what to study at college and what you want to do for the rest of your life, people simply laugh at you, because dreaming is childish and you should focus on getting a real job, even if you don't like it.
I think people should encourage you to always keep dreaming. No matter if you are 5 or 6 or 17 or 18 or 25, I don't care.

Dreams are what make us waking up in the morning and decide to go out and live. That's because we want to live everyday in spite of getting better at whatever we need to be able to do in order to achieve them.
Telling people to stop dreaming is like asking them to die.

L

Music time with L #3

Hola people!

Today I don't want to talk about an album or an artist, but about a song lyric.

Let's just say that I'm back in one of those periods when I start thinking... a lot... And during the past comple of data, I've been thinking, probably way too much, about the lyric of Drown (Bring me the horizon).
They're not in my top list of bands (don't take it wrong, I enjoy listening to them), but when I first heard this song I fell in love with it. No one really knows this, but I've spent a lot of time listening to it.
When I have a new obsession, usually, I talk about it with someone. However, this time was different. A couple of friends knew I liked it, but I never told them I could spend hours with Drown on reaper on my phone. I still don't know why I've never told any of my friends about how much I love(d) it, but I surely know why I kept (and keep) listening to it. It's so powerful and meaningful.


I haven't thought about it for a long time, but yesterday it came back into my mind (thanks to 5sos in the bbc live lounge...) and I, again, started thinking.

"What doesn't kill you makes you wish you were dead.

Got a hole in my soul, growing deeper and deeper.

And I can't take one more moment of this silence.

The loneliness is haunting me.

And the weight of the world's getting harder to hold up.

It comes in waves, I close my eyes.

Hold my breath and let it bury me.

I'm not okay, and it's not alright.

Won't you drag the lake and bring me home again?

Who will fix me now? Dive in when I'm down?

Save me from myself, don't let me drown.

Who will make me fight? Drag me out alive?

Save me from myself, don't let me drown.

What doesn't destroy you, leaves you broken instead.

Got a hole in my soul growing deeper and deeper.

And I can't take one more moment of this silence.

The loneliness is haunting me.

And the weight of the world's getting harder to hold up.

It comes in waves, I close my eyes.

Hold my breath and let it bury me.

I'm not okay, and it's not alright

Won't you drag the lake and bring me home again?

Who will fix me now? Dive in when I'm down?

Save me from myself, don't let me drown.

Who will make me fight? Drag me out alive?

Save me from myself, don't let me drown.

'Cause you know that I can't do this on my own.

(Woah oh oh oh)

'Cause you know that I can't do this on my own.

(Woah oh oh oh)

'Cause you know that I can't do this on my own.

(Woah oh oh oh)

('Cause you know that I can't do this on my own.)

Who will fix me now?

Who will fix me now?

Who will fix me now? Dive in when I'm down?

Save me from myself, don't let me drown."

I've always thought that it's a scream for help. You have been abandoned and you keep asking yourself who will help you, who will dive in when you're down. You need to been saved from yourself, 'cause, let's face it, we need. We can hurt ourself, and badly. And in both physically and mentally way. So it's normal to feel the necessity of someone who will save you. There's a hole growing deeper in you because you are lonely. And when you are, you feel like the world and its weight it's getting harder to hold up. You just feel like you can't do it anymore. It comes as a wave and you let it take over you.
The first line always caught my eyes. It's so true. Whatever doesn't kill you, makes you wish you were dead. You are left so in pain that you prefer dead to keep feeling it. It a sentence that it's always stuck in the back of my mind.


In conclusion, I think I'm gonna print the lyric out and put it on my wall. (Just to clarify: if it's on my wall/wardrobe, than it's important to me).

Hope I haven't bored you with my *little* rant over a song lyric!
Have a great weekend.

L

The "Let's have fun in August" Project

Hola people!

So, it's September... How sad it is? In 12 days I'll be in school. WTAF?
However I had a fun time in August.

What happened at the start of the summer holiday was that I knew that by August I would have been too fed up of summer. So I decided to do a thing.
I called it "Let's have fun in August" (or, shortly LHFIA).
What?
It's simple. 31 one notes. One for each day. One thing to do written on them. You can not change the note.
For the last month I picked up a note each morning and tried to do what was written on it.

And this is how it went.

Day 1: Let's go for a run!!
   Yeah... that was the idea, but when I finally convinced myself about going outside and do physical activities, well, it started raining. And I don't mean like a 10 minutes of raining and that's it. Oh no. 3 hours. 3 hours of non stop raining. It was like being in November. So I had a hot bath and then went straight under the covers (2 covers...) and listened to music while scrolling to tumblr (and ignoring my mum telling me that I was doing nothing at all and that I should have been studying and bla bla bla). Oh and I tried to learn the intro to "She's kinda hot".
UPDATE: exactly one month later I went running with some friends. And I didn't die!

Day 2: Spend your time singing
   Considering that I started singing even before reading the note, it went extremely well. I sang the whole day. While baking, while having a shower, while studying. I tried even while being at the computer, but in some moment there was my dad there watching the news, and the news are like a holy thing for my dad, so I have to stay quiet...

Day 3: Cuddle with cat
   I did it! And I was very happy. But it was too damn hot, so i decided to stop cuddling, but keep doing sweet things for her. I took her out for a walk (yes, I know, weird, bout my cat likes it), and so on.

Day 4: MCR live from house of blues
   Instead of watching a movie, that night I watched the YouTube videos from the My Chemical Romance's concert at the House of Blues of L.A.. You can not understand the feelings. Nearly cried a couple of time. But a great night.

Day 5: Do something (You're not really helpful today)
   I probably ran out of ideas while writing the notes... but it was a good day. I could have done whatever I wanted. And so I did.

• Went to the supermarket with my dad
• Did my homework
• Played the guitar for a bit
• Chose a list of songs to TRY to learn to play on the guitar

Day 6: A bit of acoustic songs
   Luckily I have a playlist for this! Only 26 songs (aka 1 hour and 36 minutes), but it was enough. A great mix too: 5 Seconds Of Summer, Green Day, All Time Low, The Madden Brothers, The Vamps, Panic! At The Disco and Fall Out Boy. i enjoyed this! Thanks past me!

Day 7: Watch a movie
   And I chose "school of rock". One of my friends has spent last year telling me how amazingly funny and spectacular it was, so I gave it a shot. not too bad, funny, and a bit strange, but not my genre. So after that I watched for the n-time "the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy". And before going to bed "Winnie the Pooh: greatest adventure". Don't judge me, I love it. And it can be really sad. And I love Winnie the Pooh. Well, as it said ONE movie and i ended up watching three I can say that I completed today task!

Day 8: Puzzle
   My idea was, as I had to study, during the afternoon and stuff to do in the morning, to do it before sleeping. However yesterday night I collapsed on the bed and fell asleep. So no puzzle

Day 9: Cook a meal (good luck)
   I cooked lunch. Fajitas. For the first time. Probably wasn't the best idea... but they turned out delicious according to my dad (which is rare) and not too spicy according to my mum (also rare). So yey.

Day 10: Take a selfie
   Why? Why would you do something like this to me, me? Ok, maybe I'm over reacting... but come on I hate taking selfies, especially if I'm alone... So I tried to take one with the cat. It didn't work. She kept moving. So I take one, all, alone, by myself. Are you happy now, my dear past-me? Hope you are.

The notes, halfway trough the month

Day 11: Doctor Who
   BEST DAY EVER! I watched Doctor Who episodes, drank coffee from a Doctor Who mug, and listened to the soundtrack while studying! Yey! even Latin became something supportable with Doctor Who

Day 12: Play guitar
   Done it! Badly, extremely badly (as always) but done it.

Day 13: Porridge cake
   If there's one thing I love in summer is porridge cake. Chocolate and Vanilla. Delicious! My parents appreciated (as I couldn't eat it. Stupid virus)

Day 14: Music day (aka normal day)
   I spent the day listening to A LOT of music. And I mean It. Three playlists. And my playlist usually are 4/5 hours long. So yes. I actually spent my time with either headphones on or music a full volume in my room. It was a really good day!

Day 15: Draw something
   I had no ideas. So I decided to understand which tattoos I really want. After that I sketched them down. And even if Ayra doesn't really like the heart one, I love all of them. But at the end I think I'll make the tattoo artist draw/write them again and better.

Day 16: TIDY your room
   I am really proud of myself! I tidied my room and rearranged the bedsides table and put an armchair next to my bed. Now it's all cute and clean! Ok, maybe not cute, but at least clean.

Day 17: Anime time
   A lot of manga reading and anime watching actually. Great day. Death Note, Tokyo Ghoul. Let's just say I had a great time.

Day 18: A bit LOT of live music
   I made up a spotify playlist (obviously) and listened to it for a loooong time. Exactly 11 hours, yeh. Maybe I listened to a little bit too much music, but, hey, I didn't have a music hangover (if they're a thing...).

Day 19: Buy a plant for my room
   I bought a little cactus. And it's soooooo cute. I'm scared it's gonna die after 2 weeks like the other one I had, but hopefully not.
UPDATE: it's the 2nd of September, exactly 2 weeks. IT'S STILL ALIVE!!

Day 20: I have no idea... you choose!
   I spent the day studying, nothing else. Well, that wasn't exating at all.

Day 21: Only homework today
   First. Seriously. I had the exact same day yesterday... However, I did my homework for all day. Yey -.-

Day 22: Hang out with friends
   Ok, now. One is in Peru. One in Australia. Three of them somewhere in mountain. And one in southern Italy. And I am in Milan. Alone. I ended up hanging out with me, in my room. What a great day. Why did I even wrote it down, I knew in August no one is here. Come one L, use your brain sometimes.

Day 23: Explore!
   I went around town to look for a place where I could buy a phone battery as mine is dead since June. And I can not live forever with my mum Nokia 1110. And I found one. Actually it was close, but I'll go back there next week and order the battery.

Day 24: Write a post for the blog
   I wrote down the first part of this post. The introduction where I explain what LHFIA is.

Day 25: Relax
   An entire day in bed, doing nothing at all. Just me, music, YouTube and tumblr.

Day 26: TIDY your bathroom
   It took me the whole day, but now is all clean, everything is in its place. And I'm proud of it.

Day 27: Let's read something
   I read "Six easy pieces", by Feynman. That's it. Nothing more.

Day 28: Star wars
   I... Ok, I dind't. I had to study during the morning and afternoon, so I thought that it would be a good idea to do it in the evening, but then I found out two of my friends were back home so we spent the evening out. And then I fell asleep as soon as I sat on my bed.

Day 29: Shower with clothes on
   I don't know why, but it really make me feel it's actually summer when I do it. I love taking cold shower with clothes on, just to get fresh and then run to the balcony and stay there, under the sun, reading and listening to music.

Day 30: Listen to radio station
   Two hours listening to BBC radio 1 at home and then 4 hours listening to the one which was playing in the swimming pool.

Day 31: A day on the balcony
   Me, homework, a chair and a little table. For 8 hours. Great thing is, I finished my English homework!!!

Everything I did during August

It was... well, different. And fun. I think I'll do it again.

Have a nice week.
And to all the people going back to school,  good luck.

L

Music time with L #2

This is gonna be long. And sorry for the language, too.

Hola people!

So, music. I love it. That's a thing. One of my best friends loves it too. However we like differents bands and differents type of music.
Let me tell you a story.

Once upon a time...
Ok, not really, it was something like 4 months ago (?) and my best friends came to me and randomly told me "Hey, I'm making you a cd with a lot of music I love as you listen only to shitty bands"
First. What a lovely friends I have, don't you think?
Second. My thought was immediately 'yey new music to listen to!'
Finally, after a couple of weeks he arrived at school and gave me a cd with "Rockin' Life" written on it.
When I arrived home that day I started listening to it. Well, technically, before I had to put a title and the artist name for each songs as I want everything to have a title, a genre, a year, and album name and an artist name and he just simply don't give a fuck about it. But, as soon as I read the tracklist (on my computer as he hadn't written it down) I started texting him.
'Omg you put even a song from MCR even if you don't really like them!! Right now I really really want to hug you'
'You are aware about the fact that I know half of the songs on the cd, right? Be proud!'
'Hahahaha you have put real gone in it too!!'
And other stuff like that.
Then I started listening too it and it was amazing.
Great songs, great bands, great singers.
After a couple of days I had finished listening to the whole cd, so I went to him and told him my thought.
Now was my turn.
I made him a cd too, with songs I particularly enjoy. It was, as his name said, "Something Different". I put all the titles and the artist names and even print a little booklet with an explanation of what the cd was and the track list (and a couple of typos here and there...). I gave it to him, and after a couple of months I asked him his thoughts as he never told me anything. His answer? "Well, I didn't came to you saying it was amazing and neither killed you. So, yeah".
Again what a lovely friend. However he told me that some of the songs where great.

Now. Why did I just write down this long story? Because this post his about music I particularly like (aka Something different) and song I discovered I enjoy (aka Rockin' Life).


Something Different.
It's just a giant mess, really.
Different bands and singers. Some live tracks, some studio tracks. I love how a band is able to express who they really are during a concert, so I couldn't not put some live songs. Oh, and one acustic.
But it's what I love. I love every single chord of the songs and every single word from the lyrics. They're like a part of me. Of course I couldn't put every single song I like. So I didn't put anything from My Chemical Romance (he already new about my obsession) and from Green Day (as he put some songs on his cd).
At the end was a mix of All Time Low, An Honest Year, As It Is, Bastille, Blink 182, Busted, Ed Sheeran, Fall Out Boy, Hey Violet, Imagine Dragons, McBusted, McFly, Muse, Panic! At The Disco, Paramore, Pierce The Veil, Sleeping With Sirens, The 1975, The All-American Reject, The Madden Brothers, The Vamps, Twenty One Pilots, We The Kings and 5 Seconds Of Summer.

Rockin' Life.
It's basically the same mess, but with rock music, songs he loves and without live songs. But is' really great. It's amazing how much I've enjoyed listening to it. It was something "new" for me. Like, yes I knew most of the songs, but I had never stop to actually Listen to them, if you know what I mean.
It'ss such an amazing mix.  AC DC, Aerosmith,  Black Sabbath, Bob Marley, Bon Jovi,  Carnivore, Cat Stevens, Deep Purple, Eagles, Europe, Green Day, Guns n' Roses, John Lennon, Kiss, Led Zeppelin, Metallica, My Chemical Romance, Nirvana, Pink Floyd, Rainbow, Red Hot Chili Pepper, Sheryl Crow, Slash, Smash Mouth, Snap, Sum 41, System Of A Down, The Beatles, The Queen, Twisted Sister, Van Halen, ZZ Top.


So, this is the story.
Also, I made two spotify playlist with the songs from the two cds in case you want to listen to them and/or see the tracklist.
Rockin' Life
Something Different

Have a nice week!


L

Not a good day

Today is a bad day.

Why? I don't know.

The only thing I know is that I need to cry, but I won't.

Maybe is a bad day because of the grey sky and the cold weather, maybe because I spent the whole day at school, maybe because I miss my friends.

I'm in Australia since the 10th of July and this is the first day when I really really want to stay all afternoon in my bed and listen to sad music.

But I won't.

The grey sky will become brighter and so will do my mood, even if I'll be still looking for my place in the world.

For that reason, now I'll go downstairs on the couch and I'll try to smile and laugh.

It's gonna be hard find the right place for me, but I won't stop looking for it.

Ayra

Summer time... such a bad time

Hola people!

Well, summer isn't the best time for me...
It's nearly August and these are the things I've NOT accomplished this summer (or winter, in case you're in the other hemisphere, like Ayra...) so far:

• doing my homework
• studying Latin
• reading the book I should read for school
• tidying my room
• take the clothes out from my luggage and put them back in the waredrobe
• take the make up out from my beauty cases and put them in the bathroom
• put the new posters on the wall

However I've accomplished a lot of things, such as:

• dyeing my hair torquise
• going to Dublin
• listening to a lot of music (SPOILER: new music time with L coming soon)
• watching too many episodes of community
• watching too many episode of friends
• reading "Hitchhikers guide to the galaxy"
• start reading "All I know now" (amazing book, by the way)

              NB: both book were not required as book to read for school

• preparing the "Let's Have Fun in August" project (SPOILER!)
• watching rerun of Doctor Who
• complaining about the heat
• complaining about the summer storms

So, yes, I've done nothing of the things I should have done during summer and a lot of things I should have left for the last weeks before school...
I should work on this, don't you think?

Okay, see you next time!

L

My room from A to Z

Hola people!

So what I though for today's post is something a little bit different...
One of the best way to get to know someone is by looking at their stuff, so this is my room from A to Z!


A for Alarm clock
    I love my alarm clock! It's a TARDIS and I wake up to the sound of it landing in my room! It's amazing

B for Bedside table
    It's kind of stupid to say that I own one of this (well, two of them) but it's because the nearest one to the bed is my everything. I have all of my wires and charger there. And my camera and laptop (and some snacks for the night)

C for Cushions
    I only have three cushions right now, because my mom took away from me the fourth a year-ish ago telling me that I don't really need four cushions to sleep. But c'mon, cushions are the best things in the world. You can cuddle with them, you can use them to build a little bed over the bed when the second one is too hot in summer (I think I'm the only one to do that), you can just put them on the floor and sit on them, use them to make a chair comfier... I think I have a point

D for Doctor Who
    Across my room you can find lots of stuff related to "Doctor Who": DVDs, books, the alarm clock, posters, quotes,... I just love it soooo much! 

E for Earrings
    I have a wide range of different type of earrings. From piercings to one which is a blue wing

F for Flannel shirts
They are either on my bed waiting for me when at night it starts being windy and I need something to put on or either in my closet. They're so cute and comfy!!

G for Guitars
    I have two guitars (actually one is mine and one is Ayra's, but still). I'm trying to learn how to play it (even if I'm extremely bad at it!). And the reason why I have two guitars is that actually my hand is too small for mine on, so I borrowed Ayra's one which is smaller!

H for Headphones
    They're always with me, even at night to fall asleep, so they're either on my bedside table or plugged in my hears!

K for King size bed
    I still have no clue of how I convinced my parents to let me have a king size bed but I love it and it's amazing for sleepovers!

L for Lyrics
    They are write here and there in my room. Music has to always be with me, and some lyrics are too good to not be read every day

N for Notes
    I always put notes for myself around my room to remind me what I have to do. They go from something like "Meeting with Ary at 3 pm" to "First rule: the Doctor lies" (if you get it, I adoreeeeeee youuuuuu)

P for Photos
    I have decided to put a lot of photos on one of the sides of my closet to remind me of the good time I spent with my friends

Q for Quotes
    I put quotes everywhere! They have an incredible power on me. They stimulate me, make me feel happier (or sadder)

R for Red lipstick
    I love using red lipstick. It's always set on my bedside table, even if I don't wear it the most of the time (aka at school)

S for Socks
    I left them everywhere in my room. Once I found one in my bedside table. I don't even know why I'm so lazy, but I just left them everywhere around my room

T for Television
    Even if I basically never use it it's there. Once I used to put my USB in and listen to music from there, but I realized that I prefer use my headphone and isolate from the world, so now it's there doing nothing. I should definitely decide what to do with it...

W for Wall of stuff
    It an other part of the external part of my closet dedicated to a bunch of stuff I like. There are photos, train ticket, museum ticket, travel cards, some pictures... Just a lot of stuff


Some letter are 'missing' as I don't own anything that starts with that letter, apparently. Maybe I just forgot I own that...
Okay, bye

L

Reality and imagination: my 2 am and 11 pm thoughts

Hola people!

So, how is it going? Pretty awful right now for me. 
Let me explain.

On Saturday I fell while walking and today I went to A&E to check on my right hipbone because I couldn't walk. End of the story, they haven't understood what is wrong because it's not broken and they didn't want to get me a x-ray.
But that's not the reason.
As an outcome of me being clumsy and not able to properly walk I am stuck in bed (or couch) for the next couple of days for sure.
And the awful part is not even here.
It's not because I'm bored or I can't go wherever I want (that is kind of cool, plus I have laptop, doctor who and wifi, so it'all good) but because I think, and that's not a good thing for me.

It all started this morning. 
I woke up at 2 am for the pain and I wasn't able to go back to sleep and I start looking at stuff stored in my phone and laptop.
I found out a bunch of quote I wrote down while reading, listening to music and watching tv and I found out this one:

"I was awake, just staring at the wall, mixing reality and my imagination together into the reality I wanted"

Of course I haven't wrote down where is this taken from, as I'm an idiot, but it made me think, and a lot.
That's something that I constantly do, creating the reality I want. 
But the scary thing is that I started living more in that imaginary, still amazing world rather then in this. I'm constantly thinking about how my life would have gone if I would have gave a different answer, if I haven't sent that stupid message two and a half years ago, if I wouldn't choose the school I'm attending. And if I'm not, I'm either thinking about possible futures, if I drop out of school, or not going to uni after high school, or having the possibility of working in radio as a producer or if I won't achive my dream or just imagining the life I'd like to have, free from my problems and travelling or being with friends doing what I love.

But that something all of us do, right, thinking about the perfect life. It is normal, and a lot if you actually kind of hate the one you have.

My problem is that it's kind of becoming an addiction. I feel like I'm constantly there, living the live of the "what if", or the one about my possible futures, or my favorite one, the completely different one, where I'm am who I want to be. The main problem: even when I'm with my friends, I'll zone out and think about it.
Do you see why I call it an addiction?
And that's totally not ok, because I would stop anything I'm doing and think about my "other possible life" and not studying, or not going outside and then it would come the stress and the anxiety because 
1) I'm not studying
2) I'm not living the life I'm creating in my mind and I don't like the one I'm living.

Ok, my mind is just a mess, not only right now, but constantly and I need to do something about it and my imagination problems. 

I'm sorry for this non-sense post, but I needed to just write and let it out.
And I'm also sorry if this is full of grammatical mistakes and/or typos, but it' s 11 pm and I woke up at 2 am this morning and I don't have the force to proofread it.

Have a good week. 
See you next time

L

Pretty pixels

Hello!

Today I want to tell you a little more about my passions, I hope you are interested :).

Breakfast in America

I had always loved photography, looking at cool photos on tumblr and things like that, but I've always been too lazy to take out my camera every time I see something that I feel would be "the best photo I could take in my whole life"...

Since last year I used as an excuse the fact that I didn't have a good camera, but my parents have kindly decided to buy me a Canon and now I feel forced to take hundreds of photos (as if I could complain).

I'm a little bit obsessed about flowers and nature in general, every time I see some of them I take loads of pictures (90% of them out of focus...), this are the one I'm most proud of!

Flowers in Boston

High line

NY beauty

Somewhere in the Big Apple

purple daisy

I LOVE take photos of candles... 

Montreal

Milano

... or every other random thing I can find!

boiling water

lovely squirrel

CAKE

Frasassi caves

Who doesn't like a good view...

Sunset from my balcony

Montreal Park

Le Plateau-Mont-Royal

A tree 

... or a photo of your bestfriend taking a photo??

Ravenna

Milano

I actually don't know why I've decided to share some of my photos with you but I hope you have enjoyed them

Lot of love,

see you next time,

Ayra